The sport that USAdians call ‘football’ (despite the low percentage of the time that feet actually come into contact with the ball) is clearly a metaphor for the corporate management culture of the USA. Wherein nine-tenths of the time on the field is spent in committee meetings discussing what went wrong in the other one-tenth of the time, and how they’re going to work to reach the benchmarks necessary to achieve the goal. Of course, to reach the benchmark, the quarterback starts at the current place of advancement, then proceeds to back up 5-10 yards and then wonders whyinhell they aren’t moving foward more quickly. When they do finally reach the goal, there’s an inflated amount of credit given and an extensive celebration, during which time everyone else just kind of sits on their hands and wonders when they’re going to get around to getting back to actually working on delivering the next goal. This is increasingly important as the quarters slip past because someone must win this game. If you won last week, and for the previous twelve weeks in a row, but lost this week, you are therefore a loser and someone must pay!
However, the sport called ‘football’ by the rest of the Americas (norte y sur) where you get penalized if you dare to touch the thing with your hands, is a metaphor for the regular staff, who run their butts off, have a constantly ticking clock looming over their heads, during which time they must pass many, many times. Finally their work pays off and they achieve a goal, and while there is celebration, there’s a push to get back into the game and begin running and passing again because the clock. Never. Stops. And hey, if the game ends in a tie, that’s ok, because the point is not to win or lose each individual game, but to be the one at the end of the regular season with the most cumulative points.
(Baseball, of course, is a unique commentary on USAdian culture as a whole. It’s less a team sport and more of a team, “Hey, betcha I can hit this ball over that wall!”
(And then the other team says, “Betcha can’t!”
(At which point the first team says, “Oh yeah?! WATCH THIS!”)