Things that drive me crazy: Negative self-talk about your body

Seriously, guys. I am fully aware it is the Holiday season. Which is traditionally one, for those of us in communities influenced heavily by Western Europe, of feasting. I could get into hardcore discussion about how that comes from our agrarian ancestors and the likely influence that had over the Christian feast/fast calendar, but that is boring to all but a small number of you.

What I’m here to talk about is how this seems to be a socially acceptable license for people (especially women, but I know you men have this issue also) to talk negatively about their bodies.

I excuse myself from this talk as much as possible. One, because I think it’s bogus, and two, because… well, I’m still not in a good mental space to describe this, so I’m going to borrow April D’s words from her blog I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape (emphasis mine):

So if I do end up explaining why I refuse to join/like/be a part of this woman’s diet journalism I feel that it will come off as extremely self-serving; a bunch of whining about how HER decision to diet is making ME feel bad about myself. But part of me doesn’t care because a lot of feeling good about myself and learning to love who I am, in the Shell of Life that I ALREADY inhabit, has required copious amounts of editing out those parts of the world around me. A world which tries to constantly push me into the tiny niche my social environment has deemed appropriate for a huge woman (you know, that tiny niche of Self Flagellation for the Way I Am cycled against Hopeful Dieting Lifestyle Changes to Become Who I Should Be (ie: thin, taking up minimal space, quiet, calm, poised, a Better Me… in a tiny package which is pretty, sexually appealing to the male gaze and unthreatening to those around me). I refuse to get caught up in that crap again.

Think it’s not that prevalant? Dude. I was in a chat room I frequent a *lot* last night. Negative self-talk started. I usually tell people that I’m bouncing because of that, but I was in a bad place so I just exited the chat room and did some knitting. Hour and a half later, I figured it was safe to go back in.


Ninety minutes. At least, because I didn’t go back in at all last night to check again. Ninety solid minutes of hating on themselves. I… just… what… I don’t even. These are people I adore. They are amazing. They lead interesting, full lives. They still, somehow, feel it’s necessary to hate on themselves.

So, here’s the lowdown:
1) It’s the holiday season. There is tasty food. You have a license to eat tasty food. Use it.
2) Wheaton’s Law, which is “Don’t be a dick”, applies to YOU talking about YOURSELF, also.

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