Hail the Queen of the Hipsters!

Some little troll took exception to a comment I left on a geek-centric blog and declared that since I call people ‘sweetie’ and drink mimosas, I am a hipster.

Oh, wouldn’t that be awesome, if I were Queen of the Hipsters?

You’d get deep, intense arguments late at night in dark, trendy bars about whether or not the new Wonder Woman costume change was a triumph of feminism or a cosplayer gateway drug. There’d be loads of medium-priced good wine and beer, and nothing sold in cans.

Everyone would have deep, divisive opinions about music, and discuss it frequently like, “Oh, I was totally into Great Big Sea back in the Noughties, they’re on the same play list as the Pozitive Orchestra and if you’re into Russian polka bands covering 80s pop hits, you should totally go download their tracks, after we get done playing our medley of Ke$ha and Johnny Cash on our ukuleles.”

Soooo many people would be playing Zombie Dice at brunch, if I was the Queen of the Hipsters. Except for the ones who were eating alone, reading Terry Pratchett. And not have their bangs hanging into their eyes. ThinkGeek would be the official supplier of hipster t-shirts, the appropriate uniform when bouncing from one joyous adventure to another, fueled by massive amounts of coffee and the desire to see EVERYTHING, EVER! And to do so without incurring consumer debt.

It might be fun to be the Queen of the Hipsters. But I’m having too much fun just being me to conquer and rule an entire subculture right now.

Maybe after I finish this round of college, though…

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