The Bite of Oregon– why did I bother?

Yeah, I went to the Bite on Saturday.

I *wanted* to go to the Bite. I was looking forward to the Bite. I was excited! I was trying to get other people to go with me!

No one wanted to! I should have read that as the oracular sign that it was!

Saturday afternoon, I hopped on the MAX. I was excited! I was ready! I was thrilled!

I was so disappointed!

The food was okay, the wine was mediocre, and the people were horrifying.

Really, the only bright spot was h50’s nitro whipped sorbet. I need to get over there for happy hour here quickish.

My two goals were to taste a bunch of wine, and watch the Iron Chef Oregon finals. I tasted about twelve different wines, and none of them stood out. Contrast to the wine tasting trip I took to Hood River, where I tasted twelve wines and bought bottles of four of them. The most interesting thing was a pomegranate saketini, and I got elbowed out of the way as I was trying to pay by some sandal-wearing, small skirted drunken wench who WANTED A TASTING FLIGHT NOW. She spilled half my one-ounce taster.

That wasn’t my worst encounter with humanity at the Bite, though. That was reserved for the Iron Chef Oregon finals. I’m not talking about the boring commentary, I’m not talking about the ennui and lack of knowledge of the ‘celebrity judges’… I’m talking about the drunken ex-partner of one of the contestants who was sitting two rows in front of me. Said ex-partner spent the forty minutes I was willing to put up with the behavior screaming imprecations at the stage, telling the story of what a jackass the contestant is… We were 100 feet from the damn stage. The contestant couldn’t hear any of it.

I could. I didn’t care. And finally, I had enough and left. I was there for two and a half hours, and I would have had better food, better wine, and a better time if I’d stayed home and watched FLN shows.

Hopefully I’ll remember this next year.

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