An Open Letter To Tom Lenk

Dear Mr. Tom Lenk,
I am keeping it formal because I must begin with an abject apology– I believe one of those really mean message board posts you read was from my ex. She’s a bitch, and she has no taste (I mean, after all, she left me).

Anyway, I couldn’t stick around for the meet and greet after your fantastic “Live in Portland” one-man show tonight. Like many Portlanders, I rely on public transit to get around, and I needed to make sure I caught a train across the Willamette (did you know we make jokes about it being poopy and gross? Because we do. Because it is). So I’m going to tell you here what I didn’t get a chance to tell you tonight.

I’m not the kind of person who goes out to the theater, or to comedy shows, but I took a chance on you and your show. And it paid off.

You were absolutely fantastic. No, I’m not just saying that. Your show had all the things I love to hear– the backstage workplace drama, the relationships gone awry (and sometimes SERIOUSLY awry), silly rock songs, and about realizing your dreams, even if they’re not exactly what you were expecting.

(The short version of my version of your fashion photo shoot story is “A deer bit me on the butt in Nara, Japan.”)

Thank you for bringing this show to Portland. It was a very fun night out. If you do buy that condo in town, stay away from the South Waterfront. Hope to see you around the food carts.

And out of the Willamette, especially for the making of the love. You don’t want to get that on your skin. Really.

Love,
Mary Sue

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