Dave explains the nature of the universe

From the Blazers Edge blog, regarding the slam dunk contest:

Let this be a lesson, young man. NEVER trust a L*ker. Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER! “But he’s my countryman!” OK, but he’s a L*ker. “We’ve known each other since I was five!” What’s he wearing? Purple and gold? That makes him a L*ker. “But he’s dating my sister, he’s eaten my mother’s meatloaf, and we took a blood and gall bladder juice sealed oath (painful!) to be BFF’s for life no matter what!” TOUGH! HE’S A L*KER! Like one of the commentators said, we did not come here to see Pau Gasol make a fancy-pants pass off the backboard and blow it sixteen times so that Plastic Man swinging on Spidey’s web with Inspector Gadget’s spring-loaded boots and a Batarang couldn’t dunk it.

And now you all know, the best way to get a mention on my blog involves a) telling it how it is about the L*kers, and b) mentioning superheroes, especially the ones that not everyone knows [last night, in the Kingdom of Loathing chat room, we got into a discussion about how totally awesome Plastic Man vs. Reed Richards would be, while some twee little Hot Topic shopping pissant proto-Hipster kept nattering about how “lame” Plastic Man is. Of course, the proto-Hipster also thought Plastic Man was 16 years old, so I have no idea who the hell the proto-Hipster was actually referring to, but most importantly, proto-Hipster was schooled in the fact that Plastic Man is AWESOME and that maybe the fact he keeps getting beat up at school comes from wearing an entire outfit that’s plaid and being an insufferable jackhole])

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