[Fangirl] Middleman liveblogging

To begin with, I find it highly amusing that after Spaceballs and Middleman, the 700 Club will be airing.

SO! If you’re new to the concept of liveblogging, it’s where I watch a television show that is totally awesome (like Middleman! 9pm Mondays ABC Family channel) and type my responses and 99% of people go, “What the hell is posessing her?” If you’re in that 99%, please ignore the rest of this post.

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Still here? Good. Because tonight’s episode is The Ectoplasmic Panhellenic Investigation, there was a second Werewolf Administration, and Ida’s already being snarky and AWESOME.

And Tyler’s here! Tyler was going to become the next Middleman, but he has a loser roommate who lost the message so Wendy got the gig. Ida fills in with the backstory on tyler (it involves two day amnesia), and MM is explaining why WW can’t go rushing out there to say hi to Mr. Hottie Tyler, which is the fact that he might put two and two together and get aliens. The Middleman organization being devoted to keeping people from doing the math and getting aliens as a result.

“You made the cute boy go bye-bye?!” Shrieks WW at Ida. Which is awesome.

SmartCar product placement, but Tyler’s doing it and he’s talking to WW about being beaten by Lucha Libre wrestlers and getting two-day amnesia and therefore this is my favorite scene ever.

Tyler has dropped the bomb that during his two day amnesia (typing that is cool) he feels he met his soul mate. Although the whole getting the fools to give up the address of another employee shrieks two things at me: first, STALKER, and two, PRIVACY LAWS MUCH?

I like Lacy, the photogenic roommate. I like her relationship with MM (she calls him Pillow Lips to his FACE) but she dresses like a Rastafarian thrift shop threw up on her.

911 call, and it’s ghosts in the sorority house. WW thinks it’s cool, MM gets very specific in his denial of coolness. WW insists it’s a pledge challenge. And she seems to be right since the guy who got arrested is in a rather frightening pink dress and wig. Leading to the line:

“These boobs may be fake, but that emergency call was real.”

OH! Another great line!

“Lewis, I would never hit a man in a dress until I have exhausted all other options.”

Lewis has no pineal gland, so he can see ghosts. MM asks Ida to construct something that would allow them to see ghosts, too. Ida asks, “Scalpel?”

MM is not amused.

Lacey’s mother Dr. Barbara Thornton is an alumnae of Omega Theta Nu, so Lacey does a bouncy cheer thing which is apparently the handshake? I am afraid. They have talky talky about who might like Tyler better.

MM just offered to put on a dress and tights. I’m rather hoping we get to see that. He’s listing off the Moscow Rules, all 15 of them.

Apparently at Reitmen, they greet Omega sisters with hugs. And there are ghosts shouting at WW, but since she didn’t have the pinealectomy, she can only see them shouting at her, stuff like, “No!” and “Run quickly!” and “Save yourself!”

By the way, I can read lips. It comes in handy sometimes.

There’s a huge party this weekend at the Omega house, and the ghosts are all in the living room waving frantically. They introduce her to the chapter president, and one of the ghosts is yelling at the chapter prez, but it looks like her.

WW calls in, her code name is the Gatekeeper, MM is the Keymaster. If you don’t know why that is funny, you need to get off my blog. Seriously. Right now.

Noser is grilling Tyler. Tyler can play the Stump the Band game. Noser has a mancrush. Awwwww.

Allie the bitca is eavesdropping at the bathroom door. And I must say the blue dress WW is rocking is kind of nothing resembling attractive. Allie is giving advice. Halfway good advice. When WW rocks the Omega handshake, Allie insists they need to talk, but they are interrupted.

The alive-ghosts are shouting, screaming, and pointing. All of them are officers in the picture over the fireplace. WW is playing charades with them. Elenor is not in the ghost horde, and Allie puts a pillowcase over Dubby’s head and breaks the Pineal Glasses.

Turns out it was just a welcoming ceremony. they are bouncing and singing. And the five officers don’t know the cheer or any of the traditions. That’s why Allie is freaking out, Eleanor is a pledge but she’s taken everything over. MM shows up, and whisks her away after some flimsy story about a family emergency and their mother’s wild fling in Tijuana, which leads us to find out WW is a cubana.

Egon Spengler Medal. ❤

Ida’s come up with a dossier that says Eleanor is a nascent evil scientist. But since the glasses are broke, Lewis is back in that pink dress acting as a ghost interpreter. And the ghosts get in a fight about if one of them called the other fat. I think it’s supposed to be funny, but when the text rolls up “Forty-nine interminable minutes later” and one of them is apologizing in an insincere tone about never intentionally driving someone to an eating disorder… yeah. Not funny.
Eleanor has put five of her friends from the Physics dorm into a quantum projector to take down the Omegas for not letting her in. Her evil plan involves making Caligula blush. Oh, and her machine breaks positron blasters and radio frequencies, AND she just took over MM’s body. ME NEXT! I WANT A TURN!

Tyler and WW are bonding over zombie movies. People who know me well know that I am squealing like a fangirl over here. Tyler and Lacey roll out on their date to the Vegan Palace, and WW calls Allie to vent. Allie informs WW that MM is DANCING ON THE TABLE. Dubby goes to the door, and Lewis is at the door, with the Ghost of MM.

WW quotes Star Wars. I rewind the TiVo a couple of times.

MM has something called the BUMMER in his trunk. It looks like the truth bomb from last week and works like dropping a Mormon in a bar.

“Muscle memory, bitch” followed by bitchslap. Then, there’s hair pulling, biting, and slapfighting. WW goes down, and some frat boys threaten Eleanor!MM. She runs, and Ida figures out that Eleanor!MM is bad, and goes for a hypo of sleepytime juice. But Eleanor!MM sets off the kaboom. WW has five minutes to save them! OH NOES!

By the way, the Middlemobile’s autopilot includes church, the creamery, top-secret headquarters, the duck pond.

I– I can’t recap this part. Lewis is translating, Allie is awesome, Ida is apparently crawling through the air ducts, and MM found out about Tyler and Lacey.. and Allie grabs the phone and tells Lacey off.

“Holy Wachowski Brothers” is totally my new catch phrase. And the way to reverse the stuff involves a red button and Ida falling into a compromising position on MM and shooting him up with sleepy juice.

Eleanor gets sent to Greenland, and MM and WW are apologizing and bonding emotionally over ice packs. Then Lacey and WW bond emotionally and Lacey informs WW she broke up with Tyler, mostly because he kept talking about Dubby during dinner.

I want to take Tyler home and keep him as a pet. Not just because he keeps saying ‘zombie palate cleanser’. No. Not at all. >.>

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One Response to [Fangirl] Middleman liveblogging

  1. Richard says:

    Awesome take on last nights MIDDLEMAN…
    I just found your site and enjoyed your take on last nights show..
    I look forward to next weeks live blogging…..

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